Will Rap for Food...

According to the Daily Dish, professional tool Kevin Federline (or, as I like to call him, Special K) had to beg concert organizers not to cancel his show this past Saturday after only 300 fans showed up.

I find the attendance to be amazing. That he could amass 300 fans is beyond my comprehension.

Special K let everyone wait for three hours past the time the concert should've started. This, despite his statement saying that he didn't care about the number of the crowd, and that he would perform to however many people. He took the 300 fans that DID show up and made them wait three whole hours, essentially wrecking what relationship he might have had with them. His bright idea: maybe the others are just not here yet, so if I wait, my thousands of fans will show up.

Nope.

Eventually, Federline performed, but only a half hour. That's right. People waited three hours for a half hour show. By the time he finished his abbreviated set, only 100 people remained. It is unclear how many of them stayed just to get the last boo in or to empty their salvo of rotten tomatoes.

Apparently, this is not an isolated incident. Many of the venues in his "debut tour" are cancelling due to dreadful ticket sales. Concerts that have already happened have featured more booing from the audience than rapping from the K-Fed. Indeed, the scuttlebutt around his album release is that only 1,000 units have been sold, which represents a HUGE loss.

So my question is this: Why do people keep paying this chump? Special K co-hosted a show on MuchMusic (Canada's version of MTV) today. Who books these gigs for him? Surely it can't be because he's a serious artist. More likely, it's because he's a complete and total train wreck, the kind that people can't help but watch. Granted, he's got BritBrit's millions behind him, and undoubtedly she's paying plenty of people off to let him chase his dream. But BritBrit also hasn't put out an album in three years, and if the history of other similar pop stars is any indicator, even if she did, sales would slip drastically from past releases. And with more kids popping out every day, Special K's piece of the pie is bound to be getting a bit slimmer.

This whole K-Fed thing really irks me, because I am in touch with SO many young and talented artists who are begging for a chance. People that don't sire children with random women, only to leave them to marry up the food chain, leaving a string of kids in the wake as he attempts to feed off the kibble that falls from the table of his current wife, who, at best, is a washed-up pop star. I'm friends with musicians who don't drive Ferraris while writing songs about their supposed clout and their riches that they technically didn't earn and their fame that they only got from being the world's worst trailer trash come to town.

It happens in both genders, too. We guys have Special Fed. You girls have Paris Hilton.

When do the talented kids get their chance? When do guys like Jordan Southerland, Erik Scott Smith, or Willie Will get to host a music show or have the opportunity for their music to be heard? When will Roxie Mae, Kelli Ann, or April Walsh get their chance? Each and every one of them deserve it more than the ones that the paparazzi currently worship.

Do me a favor. Next time you are tempted to pick up a People or Us Weekly or whatever tabloid you choose to read about these mindless celebs, stop. Get online on Myspace or CDBaby or google for unsigned artists and give these guys a try.