AMERICAN IDOL NIGHT 21: TOP 12 ELIMINATION!!

It's time for someone else to go home. Will it be Kevin, Ace, Kellie, or maybe Melissa? We'll find out after about five million commercials and whatever filler Idol has in mind, so stay tuned!

So, here's my picks for this year's A.I. Bragging Rights. In order of elimination, they are...

Melissa
Kevin
Bucky
Paris
Lisa
Taylor
Ace
Kellie
Elliott
Mandisa
Katherine
Chris

I made these predictions prior to last night's show, so let's see how well I did.

Hmmm, it appears Fox played a little trick on everyone tonight. Bones must not be doing so well, because Fox switched its time slot with American Idol so that everyone tuning in at 8/7c thinking they would be seeing Idol results might sit through an hour of this putrid Bones crap. Well, they can think again. Perfect timing for me to leave the house and slip back in around time for the real show to start.

Somebody actually made a sign for Ryan Seacrest. Naturally, he must stand next to his lone fan.

Only 32.5 million votes this week? I thought last week we had 48 mil? Slackers. Randy flashes his gang signs, Paula claps like a seal, and Simon borrowed his wardrobe from Andy Gibb.

Flash back to last night, because apparently A.I. fans have no memory of what happened 24 hours ago, and we see the same dreck we saw last night. Ryan talks about how Kellie and Bucky only had to worry about image. Umm, Seacrest, what about how horrible their singing was??? Remember that?? They seem determined to downplay anything bad that these two do. On the flip side of that coin, Melissa gets de-pimped as they point out every single thing she did wrong last night. Mandisa gets plugged as a great singer, as do Chris and Katharine. Our two male alleged sex symbols, Kevin and Ace...ugh, can't finish the sentence because I was suppressing an involuntary gag reflex. Both did horribly last night. And really, do I need to remind you of anything else?

After five million commercials, we might actually get to see some action...

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Oh wow, here's the first A.I. Ford commercial. I can't believe they're ruining "All I Want" like this. And who is that funky looking troll? Oh wait, it's Ace. That was stupid. Katharine in a cop uniform is hot though.

Now it's time for Stevie Wonder to do his thing for us. Turn up your TVs folks, because this singing is as good as it's going to get for the rest of the show. Ryan asks Stevie some inane questions, and Stevie tries to answer honestly without destroying the confidence of any of the contestants. Stevie's going to be singing "My Love Is On Fire" for us. Can somebody fire the tech crew? How do you not mic Stevie Wonder right?? I'm in lust over Stevie's keyboard though. I want that thing. I'm wondering if it's even on, though, because it doesn't look like his finger movements are matching the music I'm hearing, especially in the close-ups. Kevin and Paris are swaying to the music and hoping against hope that they're not going home tonight. The whole group of kids look like a bundle of nerves. Nice job, Stevie. As always.

Ryan pimps the cast of the new Fox show The Loop, which needs just as much pimpage as Kellie.

Ok, so now that we've killed the first half of the show, here comes the bottom three.

Either Ace or Kevin are in the bottom three. Kevin is safe, but Ace is in the bottom three! Paula doesn't get it, because she can't believe a pretty-boy wouldn't survive. Either that or the Percocets are really kicking in.

After the break, results....

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I still can't believe Kevin is safe. So now on to Paris, who we will have to endure more of next week, because she is safe. Kellie, who couldn't have been worse last night, is unbelievably safe. Stupid Pickler. Taylor, whose phone number was unreachable last night due to the volume of votes, is naturally safe. Chris, who was the best of the night last night, is safe, DUH. Melissa is SO not safe, in my mind, even though she was good last night. Elliott didn't do so hot last night. Guess which of Melissa and Elliott is in the bottom three? That's right, it's Melissa. Mandisa, who sang barefoot last night, will sing again next week, because she is safe. Katharine blew it out last night and is safe. Lisa or Bucky will be in the bottom three. My guess is Bucky. Well, I'm wrong. Bucky is safe, and inexplicably, Lisa is in the bottom three.

After the nine millionth break, we'll learn the fate of Ace, Melissa, and Lisa. Things don't look good for Melissa...

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Time for the moment of truth! Ace is going back to safety. What a crock.

Now, will it be Melissa or Lisa? Is it really even a question? Melissa is gone, even though she was NOT the worst last night. This is what happens when you don't have air-time early on. Thanks a lot, Idol, for reminding us that Ayla got eliminated.

I have come to a decision. If I ever invent a time machine, the first thing I will do is go back and make sure that Daniel Powter does not record "Bad Day," so that A.I. can't use it EVER AGAIN.

And in a big screw you to Melissa, Fox cuts her off right in the middle of her first line of her send-off song.

Well, I called it, didn't I? Let's see who goes home next week, and stay tuned to Musical Ramblings for more music news, including some new developments in the works!