AMERICAN IDOL NIGHT 17: TOP 8 WOMEN PERFORM!!

It's time for another week of American Idol goodness, without Brenna!!! Mwahahahaha!

So stay tuned for more analysis and smart remarks as we watch it together!

(live blogging, keep refreshing!!)

Wow, Ayla is extremely tall. She stands at least a full head over all the other contestants.

What??? Seacrest is wearing a TIE????? When did this happen??

Will Paula be sloppy high tonight? We'll find out in the next hour!

Paris Bennett's nickname is Princess P. Make 'em say uhhhh, na-na na-na. She's singing Miami Sound Machine's "Conga." Not doing a very good job of it, either. At least it's upbeat. I think the dancing is taking away from her vocal. Something about this is very cabaret. She's way sharp on that long money note. I have to say, this is probably the best hair she's had the whole time. Simon's whispering about something to Paula, probably telling her to put her pills away. Randy says it's not his favorite choice, but that she's unbelievably talented. PIMP...PIMP... Paula says it's a very difficult song to sing while you're completely trashed. Simon says she did a younger song, insofar as she sung a 20 year old song. Simon thinks people will love her and we'll see her next week. PIMP...PIMP... I didn't care for her performance tonight. 1 866 IDOLS 01

After the break, Lisa will sing a slow song, and Melissa will try to pull a Carrie/Mandisa with a Heart song...

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Ryan reminds us that we are live. So maybe somebody will fall down or something.

Lisa Tucker is a big Jimi Hendrix fan. She just got big cool points from me for knowing how to play the opening licks to "Purple Haze." She sounds wonderful tonight, and she looks amazing. This chick can flat out sing a ballad. She's making a slow song exciting, which is rare for this show. She picked a lesser known ballad, which invites less comparison to the original artist. I loved it. I know I'm going to be buying this girl's CD someday soon. Randy thinks it's too old for her, which is ridiculous. Randy must have heard a different performance than I did. Paula praises her on her poise, but thinks that she should've sung a more familiar song, which directly conflicts with their advice last week to not connect yourself with a popular artist. Simon wants her in the next round because she's super talented. Something tells me Idol is deliberately trying to downplay Lisa. Vote for her lots. 1 866 IDOLS 02

Melissa McGhee likes fast cars and fast... ok, never mind. Since the belly scored her points last time, she puts it on display again. She looks hot, except for the hair change. I like her energy this time. Vocally, she's overshooting a bit, but I like the tone of her voice. She completely overpowered her background singers. Overall, I like it, and I want to see her go forward. Randy likes the song choice, says she sharped out at the end, but it works. Paula likes it too. Simon disagrees and gets booed. He thinks the last note is going to get her voted off. So, vote for her a lot. Prove Simon wrong. 1 866 IDOLS 03

After the break, Kinnik is going to sing an Alicia Keys song...not looking good for her this week already...

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Katharine McPhee just looks better and better every week. She wants to do something fun, so hey, let's go to Six Flags next weekend! Katharine addresses the rumors that she is quitting and/or pregnant and that Kevin Covais is not the father, since he was technically just given birth to last week. For the record, Katharine is not leaving the show, and she is not pregnant, though I suspect after this rumor she probably has a treadmill on back-order.

Kinnik Sky reinforces that she likes chitlins. You have to clean crap out of chitlins before you eat them. Similarly, you have to clean the crap out of Kinnik's performances before you can even vote for her. She's off key (or should I say off "Keys"...har!) on this Alicia Keys song tonight. This should be Kinnik's last night. I like her and all, but bye bye. Remember that advice that was given last week about being compared to the original artist? That was for you, baby. Randy thinks it started amazing but that it stayed sharp. She didn't nail it. Paula likes her look and her style, but she can't for the life of her say anything positive about the performance. Kinnik has that "oh crap" look in her eyes that says her bags will be packed by tonight. Simon says "appalling" and that she can go home to her "chiclets." For the record, there's a WORLD of difference, Simon. Ryan jumps in to Kinnik's defense. If Ryan had been OJ's lawyer, he'd be on death row right now. 1 866 IDOLS 04

After the break, Katharine McHotness...

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In case you didn't know, you can create your own blog at idolonfox.com as long as you agree with everything Idol wishes you to agree with.

Katharine McPhee attended Constantine's alma mater, The Cindy Crawford School of Camera Seduction. Katharine wears a tight shirt to further kill those pregnancy rumors. She looks great. Vocally, I like her tonight, and she picked a great song to sing. I'm about to propose to my TV. She looks amazing. I love her energy tonight, and she's vocally solid, though her tone is a little thin. Randy likes the McPhever thing. Randy says WE GOT A HOT ONE RIGHT HERE. Paula is excited about her, which makes two of us. Simon agrees that it was a risk and that she pulled it off effortlessly. Simon gives her his blessing. Katharine wants to have fun. Which is fun. Hey everybody let's all have fun. I'm having fun just staring at her. Fun stuff! 1 866 IDOLS 05

After the break...some other girl who I missed while staring at Katharine...

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Ayla Brown talks about her Elvis/Dad thing. Something's wrong with her microphone tonight. She's working the Natasha Bedingfield thing tonight with "Unwritten." It's not her strongest performance, but she's at least picking up the pace tonight. People that tall shouldn't wear capri pants. I like her voice tonight, minus a few flaws, but I think it was pretty hot. Randy thinks the song was just okay. So after criticizing everyone for singing a slow song, he criticizes her for picking up the pace. Ayla is being downplayed. Paula thinks she took a risk but pulled it off. Simon thinks she did a great job and that she sounds older than she is. Ryan looks like a Lollipop Kid next to Ayla. I love her, and she was a lot less robotic tonight. Vote tons for Ayla. 1 866 IDOLS 06

Mandisa sucked her thumb until she was 23, which is..uhhhh.... Hmm. Mandisa does Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman," which was almost tailor-made for her. Naturally, she's doing a great job with it. I don't even really need to comment. She's wearing it out on stage. Finally, she's doing it right! Paula gives her a standing O and almost knocks over her flask and pill bottle while doing so. Randy thinks it's the best vocal by a female this season and that she set the bar. Paula loves it. Simon says she made everyone else seem ordinary. Very very good. 1 866 IDOLS 07

After the break, Icky Yicky Picky...

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Kellie Pickler loves dogs. Great. We get to see more countryness. Just what I was hoping for. Kellie is singing, sort of, "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Etheridge. She's sort of doing this fake alto thing, while still managing to sing from somewhere in her sinuses. I'm sure the guys will think she's hot, and the bleeding hearts will love her for her sob story, but this just wasn't good. She missed more notes than she hit. While it's true, there's some energy to the performance, she just wasn't doing it for me. Big shock. Randy thinks she's been very consistent. Consistently bad. Why isn't she being criticized for her constant country sound? PIMP...PIMP... Paula says guys are in love with her, despite other people being hotter than she is, for instance Melissa and Katharine. Simon calls her a "naughty little minx," and of course, Icky doesn't know what a minx is. She thinks it's a type of calamari. Simon prefers her to Carrie Underwood (PIMP...PIMP...), for whatever reason, and the music immediately drowns him out. Kellie still thinks she's a MINK. So throw her over your shoulder and wear her to your next black tie event. Seriously, this girl has got to be in the negative IQ range. She's borderline insufferable this week. She had a salmon this week, which apparently she never had before. I'm beginning to wonder if they even get radio waves in Albemarle, what with the way she seems to have lived under a rock for the last few years. Horrible performance from a horrible performer...don't vote for her. 1 866 IDOLS 08

Ok, it's time to vote, so remember DON'T VOTE FOR PICKLER!

MY PREDICTIONS:

Who will go home: Kinnik, and probably Melissa, though she doesn't deserve it. She'll fall victim to the Kellie and Paris pimp machine.

Who SHOULD go home: Paris and Kinnik. Kellie should, but she won't.

Who is definitely safe (but still vote for them!): Mandisa, Katharine, Ayla, Lisa, and Paris. Kellie is probably safe too, but only because of the pimp machine.