Wednesday, March 01, 2006

AMERICAN IDOL NIGHT 15: TOP 10 MEN PERFORM!!

It's time for the guys to perform. Hopefully, it won't be as bad as the girls did last night. Well, not ALL, just some (and you know who you are Kellie, Heather, and Brenna!)

At the very least, we won't have to hear sob stories tonight.

Ryan says that we'll find a cornucopia of songs you won't find anywhere else, unless you count every single top 40 radio station everywhere.

Melissa McGhee is sitting up front and rocking the heck out of that short skirt.

And it's a recap of the girls last night and Little Miss Nasal, Look-At-Me-I'm-So-Pitiful Icky Picky. Another look at Paula and Simon cat-fighting because Paula is a precocious child. I don't care what anybody says, Ayla and Melissa rocked the house last night.

Randy goes first tonight, so somebody get Paula lots of crackers. Simon and Ryan exchange semi-witty banter, which they should forevermore be forbidden to do.

Taylor Hicks is singing Lionel Richie and the Commodores' "Easy." This should be good. More discussion of Taylor's hair. That's not getting old or anything. Taylor, please don't wink at us anymore. I like his voice with this song, but the Ray Charles shouting is a bit much. I loved his transition into the chorus of the song. Silky smooth. This is definitely a good performance of a good song. If he'd just stop going over the top just a tad, we could possibly forgive a little bit of schtick. A little less of the "woos" and "hahs," and you're gold, baby, you're gold. Randy didn't think it was the best, and he starts to say pitchy. Paula interrupts and compliments Taylor's wardrobe. Again with the song choice criticism!! Simon says it didn't work, wrong choice of song, blah blah freakin' blah. I think it was good, maybe not spectacular, but not bad. Paula calls Simon "mean," because as you know, it's not politically correct to actually judge when you're a judge. Shut up, Paula, for the love of all that's good. 1 866 IDOLS 01

After the break, Elliott...

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Ryan covers his milky white shins.

Elliott Yamin is going to do a James Moody song, which should be interesting. Elliott talks about his mom, who got sick in the middle of the competition, but fortunately Gandalf came through the Shire and fixed them all up, and now Elliott's mom is watching his performance back in their Hobbit hole. Enough Tolkien references, because now Elliott is going to sing. Love it. There's not a whole lot to say. This is not an easy song to sing, but Elliott is wearing it out! This is what I was trying to ask the girls to do last night. Sing the song! There are plenty of runs, but none of it feels contrived at all. Wow, what an excellent performance, and winner or not, I'm picking up an Elliott Yamin CD just as soon as it gets off the press! Randy gives him a standing ovation. We got a hot one tonight! Paula comments on the song difficulty. She compares him to Stevie Wonder. Simon thinks his confidence has come up, says it was great, and criticizes song choice just a bit. Excellent performance, mucho votes! 1 866 IDOLS 02

After the break, Sir Smoulders-too-much and Sir Smiles-a-Lot...

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Ace Young is doing a Daniel Bedingfield song. Ryan's script-writers sort of left him in the lurch for their banter session. Ace keeps beanies in his pocket. That's so...uninteresting. Not to mention beyond lame. Ace starts off flat and stays that way. I truly hate this song. Ace, it's ok if you stare at the audience and occasionally divert your glare from the camera. Ace blows the high falsetto. That is beyond wretched. He is stretching just above his range and he screeches it. It's not very good tonight. Randy thinks this song showed his range, but the truth is that it showed his limited range. Paula just wants to do a Corey Clark with Ace, and she has such a depth of musical knowledge that she doesn't even know what to call falsetto. Simon thinks he struggled, which is dead-on accurate. Time for the other judges to shout Simon down. Shut up, Paula, please shut up. The girls fight over Ace's beanie. 1 866 IDOLS 03

Gedeon McKinney's inarticulate self should just go away. If he could be reading off a cue card any more than that, I don't know how. Oh this is just ridiculous. His voice sounds awful, and this fake affect that he's putting on is just absurd. I don't know what to say. There's nothing redeeming about this performance that I can compliment. It does improve a bit in the beginning, but just looking at him forcing the notes and dancing like an autistic chimp is way too much. Goodbye, Gedeon. Randy says he's a natural performer while Gedeon slips a twenty into his pocket. Randy says pitchy. Paula says he is unique, different, smart with selections, and a performer we'll see for decades. I'm sure someone told her the same things back during her "Forever Your Girl" days, but you see where she is now. Simon calls him a funny little thing, which pretty much sums it up. So go ahead and call me a racist, but he sucks. 1 866 IDOLS 04

After the break, an actual embryo will perform live on stage...

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Ryan says Kevin Covais is gangsta. Yes, about as gangsta as Malibu Barbie. Kevin gets lots of fan letters from 12 or 13 year old girls, and that makes him feel he's a sex symbol. Yeah, about as sex symbol as Larry the Cable Guy. Creepy. Don't let the producers do this to you again, Kev. He looks a little less stiff up there this time, which isn't saying much. His voice is acceptable, but nothing that would make me turn the radio up if I heard it in the car. Kevin, please stop bouncing; you're making me seasick. There was about a four or five note range in the whole song, but being the song that it is, it's still sort of fun. Randy enjoyed it. Wait a minute, Randy just nailed that run! Get on stage, dawg! Paula is all smiles because she wants to go back in time and give birth to Kevin herself (which would require a trip back in time of, oh, maybe 3 months...) Simon likes Kevin and picks up on my radio idea, saying if he heard it he'd probably turn it off. Simon reinforces that this is SUPPOSED to be a singing competition, not a likability competition. YOU HEAR THAT, PICKLER FANS?? Ryan compares Kevin to Chicken Little, which I think Kevin might cry about after the show is over. I would. 1 866 IDOLS 05

After the break, some other guy will sing...

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Sway's cue-ball head is up next with a Stevie Wonder song. Stevie must be buying a new yacht with all the royalties he gets from songs performed on this show. The start is shaky, but not terrible. I'm waiting for the song to start really kicking, otherwise this is going to be just another really safe choice. At least he's not singing in all falsetto. It's not too bad tonight, but his voice is breaking just a little bit during some of his notes (and no, I'm not talking about vibrato. I do know a little bit about music.) Overall, not a bad performance, and I have no problem with voting for him, but just once. Randy compares him to Stevie, but surprisingly does not claim to have worked with Mr. Wonder. Paula says he's disconnected and not "in the zone." Sway says he's having an "off" day, but listen here, man...you CANNOT have an off day during competitions like this. You have to bring it EVERY time 100 percent. Simon says that he is on track to lose the show completely. Not looking good for Sway tonight. Sway blames it on song choice, because hey, it works for the judges. Cough cough cop out! 1 866 IDOLS 06

After the break, Will...

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Will Makar is going to do something "slow and soulful." Kenny Rogers' "Lady" is a good song, so I hope he does something right with it. Will got to meet Justin Guarini who some of you might remember either from Season 1 or from ordering drinks from him at the local Hooters. On to the singing! Will just isn't right for this song. Unlike most other songs, this one calls less for a strong voice and more for a raspy, smoky vocal. He looks stiff up there. This song just isn't all that believable coming from him. I love his voice, but it's just not pulling through for him tonight. Randy thinks he should've done something that would showcase his vocals better. It was a safe song. Paula likes his vocal tone, which I agree with, but it's still too bland of a song. Simon thinks it was like a Broadway audition for Cats which is QUITE apt. He would fit right into the vocals on the Cats soundtrack that I have. Yes, I have that CD, so shut up. 1 866 IDOLS 07

After the break, Bucky and David. Country and crooning. Ai ya! Maybe I should mute the next segment...

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Three more guys to go.

Bucky Covington is going to do a Garth Brooks song. I'll wait for you all to pick yourselves up after passing out from the shock. People from North Carolina should really sue American Idol for having Bucky and Kellie wreck the reputation of their great state. Bucky is standing stock still. It sort of seems like he doesn't really know what to do with his hands. Then he springs into action as the thunder rolls. He's doing that squatty thing. Vocally, he's definitely got a good voice for country, but not necessarily a great voice. It's an okay performance, I suppose. Randy thinks he picked an appropriate song and did it well. Paula stumbles through some sentence fragments and finally gets out a semi-coherent thought, though I don't know what it was. Simon likes Bucky, but feels like he's an opener rather than a headliner. Cue audience booing of Simon. 1 866 IDOLS 08

David Radford is going to do Sinatra. No danger of him shedding his awful crooner image this week. David is going to admit to MacGyvering a cell phone car charger as a belt. I don't even want to listen to him. This crooner thing is way old. No range. Nothing. No willingness to branch out. This is a bad lounge act. I do find Bucky's bumping and grinding on the balcony behind David to be very distracting and a little disturbing. That grunt at the end of the song was rough, and the reaching for the low bass note wasn't great either. I didn't like it. Randy is bored with his performance. Paula thinks he's done better in the past. Simon thinks he lacks the charisma and confidence. David is a bit mad, and he's gritting his teeth. Sorry, dude, not good enough. 1 866 IDOLS 09

After the break, they've saved the best for last...

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Chris Daughtry is doing "Hemmorhage (In My Hands)" by Fuel. No doubt, Chris is my favorite guy this year. I just can't help but like him. He'd make a good fishing buddy. I like his voice on this song. He's definitely done some work and improved. This song is a hard one to sing. I've tried to sing this before with a cover band, and it ain't easy. It's hard to write about this, because I keep wanting to watch the TV screen to see him work. I enjoyed this performance. Randy drops Audioslave and Incubus's name, but fails to mention Mariah for whatever reason. Paula thinks he's amazing, and for once we agree. Simon says that Chris' performance is the only performance which stands out in the real world. Chris set the bar tonight. Vote a lot for Chris. 1 866 IDOLS 10

Results tomorrow night!

MY PREDICTIONS:

Who is in danger of going home: Gedeon, Will, and David

Who's on the fence: Kevin, Sway, and Bucky

Who is safe (but still vote for them!): Taylor, Elliott, Ace, and Chris

7 Comments:

At 8:34 PM, Blogger Dancewriter said...

I caught the last couple of performances and then the recap, and I totally agree with you about Chris. He's the best one so far.

:)

 
At 8:54 PM, Anonymous "Happy" said...

J.D., you are SO funny! I love reading your comments. You have such a talent for writing, and I am at the computer hitting "refresh" during the commercials. What wit. Thanks for the laughs, I do tend to agree with what you have written, too. I hope you'll do this when Big Brother starts in July! Funny, Funny, Funny!!!!!!

 
At 10:49 PM, Blogger Michael said...

JD

We disagree again, but what fun this is. we disagree on the pack your bags, you outta here eliminations too this week. My picks are Will and Kevin and Girls it's Bitch opps Brenna and Heather.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger Nick Zegarac said...

American Idol is a complete fraud. It's a self-promotional fan club for the judges three - Simon, Paula and Randy...but mostly Simon. Consider how many international venues Carrie Underwood or Ruben have been rocking since their 'crowning' on the show. Just a joke - pure ratings - shamelessly melodramatic...and with some of the worst manufactured stardom I've seen in recent years. You can't make an idol. They have to be discovered! These guys are just being exploited - and all too briefly.

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Note to Nick Z... I love SImon... he is the only reason I turn into AI. But, the sweater shirt last night? That, I did not love.

? J.D., why no internet voting for Idol? Soooo much easier!!

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger J.D. said...

Kristin,

I agree. Probably a bunch of headaches, though. They already have enough problem with people trying to use power-dialing computer programs to vote, so just think how much spam they'd have to handle if all you had to do was click one button! Yeah, my fingers were tired after last night, but oh well.

Nick, I agree with you to a certain extent, but Carrie has been getting some pretty major airplay, and there's no question that A.I. brought us a mega-superstar in Kelly Clarkson. While there is some exploitation that goes on, I'd say shows like Star Search and the like have been doing much worse with it for years.

By the way, my word verification this time was "gizzn". I'm not even going to comment on that.

 
At 1:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just found this website..and I know it's late and all, but you are completely wrong about Gedeon.

 

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