AMERICAN IDOL NIGHT 12: TOP 12 MEN PERFORM!!

The ladies blew it out last night, and it's time to see if the men can actually sing this year. It's been slow going during the auditions, and only a few of the guys have chosen to shine. So who's going to break out of the rut tonight? Stay tuned and we'll find out!

(live blogging, keep refreshing!!)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the same suit that Ryan Seacrest wore last night? I know this week's episodes are pre-recorded, but I thought they were taped on different nights.

First, a recap of the ladies and another look at all the major hotness.

Thankfully Paula has fixed her Planet of the Apes hairdo from last night. Simon says the guys need to be original tonight while singing other people's songs. Paula says they need to be unique and different while singing other people's songs. Randy says they need to be unbelievable.

Now it's time for a recap of the men. Bucky duck walks, Elliott cries, and lots of them shake.

After the break, Patrick Hall...

---

Patrick Hall says he's going to bring it, so he didn't leave his ego at home tonight. His auditions haven't inspired me with confidence so far. If Kellie's a Carrie-clone, then Pat's a Clay-clone. He sings "Come to My Window" by Melissa Etheridge, and he does a much more horrible version of it, if that's possible. It's a bit too stylized and there's not much behind his vocal tone. I'm looking for a richness of voice, and he just doesn't have it. He's a little stiff on the stage, and the head bob is a bit much. The whole performance seems like a bad karaoke bar version. Randy thinks he was quite nervous, but that it was alright. Paula talks about his previous performances, which means she thinks tonight's performance sucks and can't think of anything better to say. Simon says he sang a terrible song and that Pat looks uncomfortable. Paula wants us desperately to judge on all previous auditions, because judging on tonight could send Patrick home. 1 866 IDOLS 01

David Radford is up. He's this year's "crooner," and that's a schtick that's going to get old really quick on a pop-oriented show. He's going to sing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," which means he is not going to break out of his mold at all. It's a safe selection, which doesn't usually work. He's not hitting his stride vocally, and his voice lacks depth and range. It's sort of like a bad Sinatra impersonation. The spastic drumming thing didn't work. Seriously, I don't think he's ranging more than 4 or 5 notes through the whole performance, and it's very much style over substance. Randy compares it to a high school performance. He says it was terrible. No originality, plenty of pitch shifts...you name it. Paula dubs the girls the "Kitty Pound" and "The Paula Poodle Pound," which is so lame that crutches wouldn't help. Simon doesn't know what to say and calls the performance a joke, but he figures that the audience might like him enough to vote for him. Not this audience member. No votes from me. So far, the guys tonight are no good. David is SO about to cry up there. 1 866 IDOLS 02

After the break, Bucky Covington...

---

Bucky Covington has trouble remembering lyrics, which I can't help but think might be due to accumulated THC in the brain. Bucky is going to sing Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man." So he's going for the Bo image really early on. C'mon guys, let's get it together! His voice is raspy and is falling short on several of the notes. He's so off pitch that it hurts. Just listening to the disparity between his voice and Rickey Minor's band, it's quite obvious the difference in wavelengths of each sound. I've heard much better performances by drunks on the street corner. It was NOT good. Randy thinks he pushed too hard and that he went sharp. Paula thinks he picked a good song, but that he was off. She can't seem to say anything truly bad, so she reaches for something halfway positive to say. C'mon, Paula just tell him he's not good. Simon says the song wasn't right and then he picks up on my previous bar-room reference. Not good at all. Bucky could be going home quite soon. No votes from me. 1 866 IDOLS 03

Up next, Will and Sway...

---

Well, so far the guys have let the girls whip the snot out of them.

Will Makar is ready to go. Of all the 16 year old guys this year, I think Will has the best voice. He is going to sing "I Want You Back" as done by the Jackson 5, so at least it will be upbeat. What's the deal here? He's sharp and flat all over the place to start with. In the middle of the sing, he starts to come into it, and his dance moves work. Despite a rougher start, I think he's really working it out, and his energy is definitely very infectious. I love the way he hams it up to the girls. Randy thinks he was entertaining. Paula thinks he just won the hearts of every high school girl. Paula makes the Bobby Brady comparison, which has been made before on this blog. Paula, are you reading Musical Ramblings? Simon thinks the performance is average. Will's performance wouldn't beat the girls last night, but he's only going to get a few votes from me. 1 866 IDOLS 04

Ryan actually said "where there's a Will, there's a Sway." Alright, somebody call Brian Dunkleman, because I think there's a job opening for him.

Sway is singing an Earth Wind & Fire song. Sway looks weird in that hat. He takes on a difficult falsetto, which is falling short. I really expected him to bring it, but he's screeching more than he's hitting his notes. That high note is really nice though. Unfortunately, he didn't show off any more range than that, and a song done completely in falsetto is not what I wanted. Randy thinks it was hot. Paula thinks he's great as well. Simon thinks it was a third-rate copy. And, of course, when Simon disagrees, the other judges make fun of him, despite the fact that he's completely right. NO votes from me. 1 866 IDOLS 05

After the break, hopefully someone won't suck.

---

Chris Daughtry, the most likable guy on the show this year, thinks everyone has been doing well tonight. Obviously, he's watching the Olympics and not American Idol. He is going to sing Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive," which is a choice that I don't think we've heard on this show before. It's ambitious, but let's see what happens. Oh wow. Goose bumps. If I had my eyes closed, I'd think Jon Bon Jovi was actually on stage. I don't like that he looks constipated while singing, but I can't complain about his vocal tone. He has a very strong voice, and he's really leaving it all on the stage tonight. This is the first decent performance of the night. Nice job. Randy thinks it was really really good and thinks he has a great recording voice. Paula is "wowed" by him. Paula predicts he might win the competition. Simon compliments his choice of song and says that this is the first performer with potential tonight. Simon uses "superb!" Victory! Chris is getting a lot of votes from me tonight. 1 866 IDOLS 06

After the break, more singing and stuff!

---

Kevin Covais is the youngest contestant. Any day now he might actually start growing facial hair. Perhaps once all his baby teeth fall out, he'll start to look like the American Idol. Kevin will be singing Brian McKnight's "One Last Cry," which was recorded prior to his birth. This is way ambitious for him. Kevin's quite obviously nervous, and he is almost statuesque up there, he's so stiff. Vocally, he's not bad, but he does NOT look like a star up there. His lack of stage experience is showing here. He's shaking. His microphone is visibly trembling. Randy likes him, and says that was the bomb. Paula feels sort of motherly toward Kevin and thinks he's a sheer joy and an awesome kid (note that she didn't say "good singer.") Simon apologizes to America for liking Kevin, and goes on to say that only 90 plus year-olds with hearing difficulty would like it because it was excruciating. Overall, Kevin was too nervous and not quite good enough. 1 866 IDOLS 07

Is this over yet?

Up next, ugh...

---

Gedeon McKinney is borderline insufferable. He represents Memphis. Ugh. Can't we get a Brooke Barrettsmith or a Chris Daughtry? Gedeon is so inarticulate, yet at the same time full of himself. He sings "Shout" by the Isley Brothers. He dances like a retarded duck. Vocally, he's unremarkable. What is up with the guys singing bad karaoke renditions tonight?? The word spastic comes to mind for some reason. Horrible, just AWFUL. Randy likes the song choice and thinks it's good, but there were no outbursts of star quality. Paula was thrown for a loop, but a butterfly farting throws Paula for a loop. Simon compares him to a Chippendales' warm-up act. Simon is the only one that knows what he's talking about tonight. Gedeon's smile is kind of creepy. I'm so done with Gedeon. NO VOTES. 1 866 IDOLS 08

After the break, Elliott and Bobby...

---

Even Ryan seems to know that the guys, except Chris Daughtry, have really bit tonight.

Elliott Yamin is one of the more likable performers this year. His voice is really pure and nice. He is going to sing Stevie Wonder's "If You Really Love Me." I really dig his voice. He's spot on tonight. His presence is over-powering, and I think he might be the guy version of Katharine McPhee. No complaints here. I'm enjoying his performance quite a bit. Elliott just might be the come-from-behind guy this year who is going to really knock our socks off. Randy says it's hot and that he really did Stevie justice. Paula thinks he's great also. Simon thinks he's the best male vocalist Idol has ever had, and quite frankly, I think he might just have something there. LOTS of votes for Elliott tonight. 1 866 IDOLS 09

Bobby Bennett is up next. His initial audition was terrible. He's singing Barry Manilow's "Copa Cabana." UGH!!!!! YUCK!! He's off pitch to start with, and he looks repulsive on stage. What a horrid performance. Dude, pick a PITCH. And please, don't ever dance again! Yuck yuck yuck! Awful, hideous, wretched, terrible, and pardon me while I go get my thesaurus for more words. Randy thinks he was vocally off. Paula hypes up his showmanship (translation: can't think of something good to say about his voice.) Simon thinks it was a complete nightmare. He's right. YUCK! No votes for Creepy Bobby. Actually, if I could vote in negative numbers, I would. 1 866 IDOLS 10

After the break, could Ace break tonight's funk?

---

Ace Young is up next. He's going to sing "Father Figure" as made famous by George Michael. He definitely has George Michael's voice. I'm sure the lyric about being "naked at your side" will get the girls a-dialin' for Ace. Ace has a good voice, and I've always thought he was a little Backstreet-ish, but tonight he is proving that he has star power and that he does really sing well. This was a great song choice. Randy thinks he's good at working a crowd and that he can really sing. Paula thinks Ace will definitely get the gay vote. Simon thinks two other guys have outsung him, but he feels that Ace has the X-factor, and he'll sail through to the next round. I'll definitely give him some votes. 1 866 IDOLS 11

After the break, Taylor Hicks...

---

Taylor Hicks is one of the most interesting performers this year. He will be performing Elton John and Bernie Taupin's "Levon," which is an amazing song, and I have great expectations. Taylor sings it fairly well, and if I close my eyes, I can feel myself in a smoky Memphis jazz club. Taylor is the consummate showman, and you can tell he really believes in what he does. Despite a few minor vocal imperfections, I think Taylor really did a great job tonight. I love it. Randy says he's original, but doesn't like the song choice. Randy forgets the difference between a harp and a harmonica. Stick to playing bass, buddy. Paula feels his power and passion. Simon didn't think Taylor would make the finals, but he now recants and thinks that Taylor is interesting and feels Taylor's passion. Taylor is the man, and I'm going to be throwing him lots of votes tonight. 1 866 IDOLS 12

So that's it for tonight! Some were good; some were AWFUL.

My predictions:

Who is in danger of going home: a ton of guys. Sway should go, but his fan base will carry him. Patrick, David, Bucky, Kevin, Gedeon, and Bobby

Who is definitely safe (but still vote for them!): Will, Chris, Elliott, Ace, and Taylor

See you tomorrow night for the results!