Saturday, October 28, 2006

Inspiration (or Lack Thereof)

Yeah, yeah, I know, I said I was back, but then I stopped posting for a while. I'm sorry. I'm just looking for a way to make this site over and get back that pizzazz it had.

I watched The Marine tonight, which I didn't go into with much expectation, but as explosions and car chases go, it's top notch. Light on the plot, though, and high on the disbelief scale. I found myself often saying "are you kidding me????" out loud when certain events happen.

I guess that's kinda what I don't want to see happen here. I don't want to post just for the sake of posting, especially when I'm uninspired.

Give me a minute. I'll be back.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

It doesn't have to be that difficult, does it?

Hear ye, hear ye... all car salesmen, listen up. I'm about to drop some knowledge on you.

After a long and frustrating evening of fruitless searching for a new vehicle, I have come up with a list of rules that you auto-shillers need to pay attention to.

(1.) We didn't hang out at the ballgame last night, so obviously you're not my friend. I didn't come to the dealership to find a new BFF; I came to buy a sweet set of wheels for a good price. Skip the small talk.

(2.) Price. On. The. Window. Please. I don't like having to ask what ridiculous number we're going to start with. It's not going to be the price I'm going to pay, yes, but I'd like to know whether you're pitching a curveball, a slider, or straight heat before I step into the batter's box.

(3.) You go back into the hole you crawled out of while I test drive the car. If I wanted someone to fiddle with the knobs and talk to me while I'm trying to listen to how the car runs, I'd have gone to see my ex-girlfriend's sister.

(4.) I know what my trade-in car is worth. And quite frankly, it angers me when you treat me as though you're committing the most selfless act of humanitarian aid by even letting my previous car sit on the lot next to yours. While I realize that the car I am trading in is not in its prime years, I also know that I didn't just roll up in a 50's model Studebaker with a rusted out roof and a transplanted Pinto engine. You're not tying yourself to a train track over this, pal.

(5.) Same thing when it comes to credit checks. Seriously, Lancelot, you're doing me no favors. You and I both know that. Move along.

(6.) You and I both know that you're not really talking to your manager. I don't know what you do back there in the room, or even if there really is a manager in there, but I'm pretty sure it's either ping pong or seeing how fast you can get to Level 8 of Super Mario Bros. Because you already know the lower number, but you think it makes me think that you're going in there, punching your manager in the face and spitting in his eye, demanding that he give me the car at dealer cost. Here's the deal. Since you already know the number (you do this everyday right?) why don't we just skip the dance and get straight to the after-party.

(7.) That number is ridiculous, and you know it, and I'm insulted by you even showing it to me. See above, re: the dance.

(8.) If I tell you I want my payments to stay the same, and you tell me that won't happen, the conversation is over. Over. That's right over. Stop trying to show me another car. Really.

(9.) When I say no to the price you're offering on one car, and you offer to sell me a Kia instead, I have the Constitutional right to punch you in the eye. You get to pick which one.

(10.) Once you've offered a payment rate, if you forgot to factor in the payoff on my trade, that's your fault. Don't come tell me I've got to pay a hundred more a month while I am filling out the contracts. I will ball the contract up and throw it in your face, and I will take one of your free Cokes while I'm on the way out the door.

These are just a few. Am I mad right now? Ohhhhh yeah.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The Blogging Vacation Is Over...

... and J.D. is coming out swinging.

Uber-suck concert promoters Vegas VIP Group have continued to tick the vast majority of the known universe off, including me, several of you, and their own performers.

First, my beef: After my first time ripping them to itty bitty shreds, the Vegas VIP guys tried to recoup by offering me an interview with none other than Ruben Studdard. I even went so far as to submit a set of questions that were supposedly sent to his management. Weeks have gone by. Crickets are chirping in the background. I assume, at first, that this is normal, so I send a short email inquiring the status of the interview. Nothing. I send another email. Nada. I send another email. Zip. Zilch. Zero. The level of respect this brings me for them is somewhere in the vicinity of the respect I feel for fire ants at this point.

Second, a fan's beef. This fan also happens to be administrator over at the entirely wonderful Anthony Fedorov fan forum at For those of you who aren't regulars there, the excitement over Anthony's participation in this tour has been extremely heated. We're talking rabid fans who are chomping at the bit to buy plane tickets to go see him sing four or five songs. Not that I'm putting that down; I think that's great. But we're talking about some paying customers here. She was ready to go, but the idiots at Vegas VIP Group didn't respond to her until plane fare to Texas had already doubled. Troubled by this, she emailed the snot nosed punks. She managed to get a nasty email in response, telling her she was an idiot for not pestering them to get her tickets. And the worst part of it is that she was trying to book for herself PLUS six children. At between $50 to $90 per ticket, that adds up to a nice chunk of change.

Third, an Idol's beef. What follows is a letter from Justin Guarini, apologizing to his fans:

It has come to my attention, too late (unfortunately) that I’ve been lied to, or misled at best.

I was told by the promoters of my Texas mini-tour that William Hung would not be performing in our show...merely signing autographs, in 2 cities then going on with his own affairs.

I was told wrong, and it wasn't a mistake, I made sure to have my agent ask the booking agent specifically about the Hung issue.

I would like to apologize to all of you who have supported me over the years. I have always sought maintain a high level of professionalism and respect for my craft...from the simplest of impromptu performances, to the arenas and other fine performance venues around the world. I have been misled by the people I trusted to also maintain that standard, and so I feel as though I have misled you as well.

Some of you wrote to me when you heard about William's participation in the shows, reminding me of the duty I had to you all and how disappointed you would be to see me share the stage with a kind and seemingly gentle soul who is made to look a fool before the audience. I responded with the information that I was given in return...unfortunately that information was wrong. Had I known the real nature of the situation, I would have declined, as would other Idols participating in the tour. I can see why the information was withheld from my agent and the rest of the Idols reps.

I have nothing but respect and admiration for the person William Hung. He seems like a genuinely nice person, and an intelligent individual. I love that he is using what he’s got to get what he needs (Berkeley is not a cheap college), and no one has been able to duplicate his act before or since in regards to Idol contestants. However, I do not condone or have any desire to participate in his humiliation or the degradation of music and performance as a whole that is his show. He seems a gentle and kind spirit and it feels awful to see people laugh at him. I am contractually bound to continue this tour and will do so with great pleasure, however I am truly sorry to the fans if they feel let down by the lack of professionalism that may occur due to the inclusion of William Hung.

Peace & Blessings,


I don't think there's much more that I need to say. Except for this one piece of information: Although there were 500 people at the first concert, there were only FORTY in attendance at the Laredo event. That's right. Four with only one zero behind it. I don't care who's performing, that's a lousy turnout. That would be disappointing in even a small nightclub. Most of the venues have had front row seating available the very day of the concert. Horrific. But that's indicative of how horrible these guys are.

Idols: avoid the Vegas VIP Group. And music lovers, if you hear of anything being promoted by them, boycott it, and warn others to do the same. These guys are the piranhas of the music world...nothing but half rate poseur promoters who feed off of young, inexperienced talent to turn a quick buck.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

I Can Die Happy Now

I met Prime!