Saturday, January 07, 2006


I've been criticized a bit for being a bit biased in my editorializing about satellite radio vs. terrestrial radio. So, in the spirit of equality, I'm going to tell you what I dislike about the programming there.

Fair warning: it's not much, so expect this to be a very short blog.

(1.) Heidi Selexa. Possibly the most annoying disc jockey ever. She has this trademark giggle that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Also, she talks. A lot. On a channel that is supposed to be non-stop music. She WAS on the 80's channel. I could only listen to that station when Bruce Kelly or someone else was on the mic. Not her. I only wish I could strangle her through the satellite waves everytime I hear her babbling about her hair or her car or some other thing unrelated to the music she's SUPPOSED to be playing while she's chattering on. Everything about her is annoying. Take your pick: obnoxious constant chatter, not shutting up and playing music, the whole valley girl thing. And it doesn't help that she's not cute either (not that you can see her through the radio anyway.) On a positive note, she appears to be gone from XM's 80's on 8 for now (though the official site still lists her as a staff member.) Rumor has it, though, that Heidi might be back on the 90's channel, my other favorite channel, so blah...

(2.) Techno Mixes. Speaking of the 80's and 90's stations, I hate the techno mixes they do at night. And for some reason, they do them every hour on the weekends. On the 80's, it's Toejam and on the 90's, it's 9-Oh Retro. It's all dance hits, and mostly remixes of the suckiest songs from either decade. I love the programming during the day, but I get so tired of these nighttime programs, since they always come on right when I'm driving. I'm not opposed to techno or dance songs, but all good things come in moderation. One here or there is fine, but let's get around to all the other stuff that made those decades good! All it takes is for me to see those words, Toejam and 9-Oh, and I'm either flipping down the dial or turning the radio off. I'm apparently not alone in this as these people appear to agree with me.

(3.) 15 Second Bumpers. Most radio stations play short five second station-identifying bumper jingles. You've heard them. You'll be listening to, say, "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones. As the song ends, you'll hear a cute jingle that sings "94.1 WXYZ" and then, bam, you're on to "Hey Jude" by the Beatles. Not on XM. The bumpers are long painful productions. XM Comedy is the worst offender. You're hearing a comedian, then suddenly there's a huge 15 to 30 second bumper with loud noises, comedian clips, and a voice at the end telling you "Up Yours." Couldn't we just skip all that?

(4.) Opie and Anthony. They just plain suck as a morning show. And since there's nothing on that I want to hear locally, I get to pay a monthly fee just so I can access a good morning show through the internet.

Ok, that's pretty much it. Otherwise I love it, and it's a million miles better than terrestrial radio. There. How's that for a critique?


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