Wednesday, May 10, 2006

AMERICAN IDOL NIGHT 37: TOP 4 RESULTS!!

It's time for results again, as we whittle them down to the bottom...err...top three.

Jerry O'Connell and Rebecca Romijn are in the house, and so are Elliott, Chris, Taylor, and Katharine. Ryan introduces the judges, and Simon rolls his eyes at him.

It's recap time, and I still don't recognize which room they were in at Graceland. There's Taylor's ham-handed performance, Ryan smarting off to Simon, Chris wearing it out, Kat sucking, and Elliott just blowing the roof off.

Paula is sitting in Simon's lap, and Randy is punching him in the arm, sayin' "yo, when you gonna let a brotha get some love." Ryan looks jealous, and Randy grabs hold of Ryan, pops a binky into his mouth and rocks him to sleep.

After the break, blah...

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Time for another Ford Commercial masquerading as a music video. They're singing "What a Wonderful World" in the style of the Sesame Street cast. Kat's driving the hybrid (not boxer-briefs this time, ladies and gentlemen, but an actual car.) The guys clean up the garage by spreading mulch and planting weeds. Taylor finds his muse in the form of a parrott with Tourette's Syndrome. And Kat drives up with... huh?? Kermit???? Where'd that come from? Oh well, I guess that makes her...Miss Piggy? Not the best choice.

It's time for our virtual tour through Graceland. Franken-presley meets them at the door, and Taylor tries to hold back his vomit while not staring directly at her, lest he turn into stone. Finally we get to go into the Jungle Room, which is my favorite part of the house for real. Don't be fooled though. When you take the actual tour through Graceland, this room is cordoned off. You can look into it, but you can by no means enter it or walk through it like they do. This is only for the TV, y'all. They take us through the Hall of Fame. Kat "totally recognizes" all the memorabilia, even though Elvis died prior to her birth. They check out the wall of gold, which I must admit is impressive in person. They check out the racquetball court, which has been converted into another display room. I just want to take this moment to mention to you that in this building, there are bathrooms and kitchens and all the sinks and faucets are crafted from pure gold. So if one were to wash one's hands, one would have to wash one's hands prior to washing one's hands, if you get my drift. They go to the meditation garden and the tombs of Elvis and his family. I think Priscilla was buried here prior to rising from the dead. But seriously, folks, those flowers you see are just some of many that get left there everyday along with personal letters to the King. It is an awesome place, this garden, not because I worship Elvis, but because it is very beautiful.

The Idols then go to meet Lisa Marie who looks like she just got done doing a line off of the floor. There's the golf cart ride down Elvis Presley Blvd and Kat's boobs hanging completely out to cushion any car crash they might experience or to shield them from gunfire if they should get down as far as Winchester Road.

The group number tonight is "Don't Be Cruel." Elliott starts out sounding strikingly like Elvis. They make a double play of the line "go Kat go," from "Blue Suede Shoes," and Carl Perkins is now whirling around in his grave. Taylor sounds like an amateur next to the other two guys. Kat whines "Are You Lonesome Tonight." I'm done with her and ready for her to go. Chris sounds great on "Love Me Tender." The rest of it is just a bunch of hammyness and cheesyness. How does the camera always find Kat's butt? Not sure, but it does on "Burning Love."

After the break, somebody gotta go!...

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Ryan is interviewing Rebecca Romijn and her soon-to-be-ex-husband Jerry O'Connell. Becks is there to pimp her new X-Men movie, as though it needed promotion. Becks wants Taylor to sing "Jailhouse Rock" again. Okay, this is BEYOND unfair. That one contestant should be given a complete extra performance is just not cool. If one's gonna perform, they all ought to be given a shot.

They all join the stage in a pre-determined order, and Ryan informs us that we will find out which half are the bottom two. After the break, naturally...

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Which are the bottom two? Not Taylor and Elliott. Chris and Kat remain as the bottom two, and it will either be as expected or a major shocker. Kat is already crying.

Ryan asks Simon who is leaving tonight. He says Kat should go. Ryan all of a sudden busts out and tells us that Chris is going home tonight, and this is just a plain old travesty. Paula bursts into tears and buries her head in her hands. I'm just sitting here dumbfounded.

Seriously, y'all, what happened? My best guess is that Chris's fans thought he was safe after last night's performances and didn't vote. Either that or Kat's voters were really polarized. She completely doesn't belong in the top three, and the guy who I had picked for your American Idol is going home.

All I can say now is that I'm throwing my support 100 percent behind Elliott. Check me back on my blog this week. Otherwise, see ya next Tuesday.

17 Comments:

At 9:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe Chris is gone. I'm paralyzed by the shock of it. How can Kat stay and Chris go? I really thought he was going to win it all. I'm with you, JD: Let's support Elliot now!

 
At 9:04 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

You crack me up, JD! I caught the "I totally recogize" comment and thought it was doofy too. I am 100% behind Elliott now too - the only votes I've cast this season have been for him; he is amazing!!!!! The first "Idol Shocker Elimination" of the season, right? I'm gonna stop hogging your comments now and go blog about this on my own site. ;)

 
At 9:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm an avid Chris fan and voted through DialIdol 349 times. I tried for 30 minutes to get more votes in on my second line and didn't get through once. Something is funky...amy

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger Hannah said...

i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
upset!

 
At 9:30 PM, Anonymous betapundit said...

I"m still holding out for Taylor. I think he's going to do it.

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

Re Kermit - I think he's in a bunch of new ford "going green" hybrid commercials...

 
At 10:19 PM, Anonymous bach_ngoc17 said...

I liked Chris in the beginning but lately he's been okay. I don't have a favorite but I was shocked Chris got sent home. I so thought it was a joke when Ryan told Chris he was going home, I didn't think he was serious until it was over.

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

I think Chris is just a little too niche-y. WE really liked him but I don't think all AI fans are just huge supporters....maybe???

Yuh...Chris AND Katharine were both stunned. Kat looked nauseaous all night.

Poor ol' Chris.

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

How cool of you to LINK ME! Thanks :)

I found a way to not get your sidebar to the bottom whenever you load a video (although this probably only happens on 17 inch screens like my own).

In the video code, take 10 units off the "width". I think it sets at 430 but I go down to 420. It works without distorting.

You da bomb!

Hey, can you email me off-board one time? I wanna ask you something (not creepy -- just something that would be better not here.) f a m i l y at g l y c o dot c o m

 
At 6:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was in complete shock last night! I really thought Chris would go all the way...now I'm hoping for Taylor or Elliot--Kat was good at first, but the last few weeks she just hasn't been impressive...I think Chris will get a record deal from someone anyway...

 
At 7:04 AM, Blogger Dancewriter said...

I'm with you on the whole Chris thing, and now also behind Elliot as well. He had been gaining my support over the past few weeks anyway. Chris seemed to be starting to think he had it in the bag.

I think a "taylor" concert would be really fun, but really think that Elliot has come the farthest in the competition. He seems to take the criticism and comments and really run with them. Go Elliot! :)

 
At 7:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chris was, by far, my favorite Idol. As much of a shocker as it is... I don't feel bad. He would never be what they wanted him to be. They would have made him make a crappy record of songs he shouldn't be singing. I'm sure some band will scoop him up in a heartbeat.

 
At 8:06 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

wow... i thought he had it all wrapped up!!!

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger Michael said...

Hey gang, remember that this is called American Idol, not American Rocker. Chris would not fit into the AI mold, He would not cave into the pigenhole AI would have tried to stick him. Remember Bo Brice another rocker, who after American Idol produced sloopy AI recordings.

Chris if he doesn't sign with Fuel, if all that was hype, will have a better chance after Idol of producing a real quality recording without wearing the crown.

A bizzare point of reference .. How many of you would go to your job or even a job interview wearing one of those 'kiddy crowns' from Burger King. Chris will be better off, when he decides with his wife and family the direction their lifes should go, without the mandates of American Idol.

 
At 7:02 AM, Anonymous Ann Handley said...

Michael -- You nailed it, dawg. Chris didn't fit with Idol, really. And while cool people like us (!) dug him, I bet most of America loves the poppier Taylor who (aw shucks!) does a better job of mugging for the camera and looking the Idol part.

 
At 7:38 AM, Blogger Lian said...

I'm also shocked Chris was eliminated. I couldn't forget the look on Simon's face when Ryan Seacrest suddenly told Chris he was going home instead of Katharine, who was Simon's bet would get eliminated from the top 4.

I'm with you on rooting for Elliot. :)

 
At 8:39 AM, Anonymous thekytikat said...

I don't watch the results shows, cuz I love LOST too much.... so I was totally shocked when I read here that it was Chris! no way! I tried voting on both lines several times and couldn't get through.... Something's fishy.... But I hope he does take that offer from Fuel, and like others have said, if he's smart, he will have a better chance of a career by not being number 1 or even number 2...

PS. Thanks for adding my blog to your site!

 

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