Tuesday, March 28, 2006

AMERICAN IDOL NIGHT 24: TOP 10 PERFORM!!

We're down to five men and five women, and if I take my shoes off and count my toes, that adds up to the Top 10! These are the people that will be touring the country with the American Idol concert tour this year, so start saving your tomatoes and rotten eggs to throw at Icky Pickler.

(live blogging, keep refreshing!!)

It's time for the show to start. Tonight's theme is songs from the current century, which comprises the vast era ranging from 2000 to 2006. Does everybody remember what you were doing when the century turned? Yup, pretty much the same thing you're doing now. Kind of a let-down, huh? We have country and rock-n-roll being performed tonight, and you get no more than three guesses which contestant will do which genre.

Lisa Tucker is going to be singing a Kelly Clarkson song that everybody has heard WAY too many times by now. Seriously, is it possible to turn on the radio without "Because of You" spilling out of the speakers? Even when the radio is turned OFF it sometimes comes on. That's just how overplayed it is. Lisa is not doing a very great job with the beginning of this song. She can't hit the lower notes and she's reaching a bit much for the high notes and straining her limited range. To be honest, I didn't really realize just how limited she was until she tried this song. With all the flats and the sharps, the song has almost become unrecognizable. Lisa, girl, I like you, but this is a going-home performance. Randy thinks it was a very interesting way to start out the night by just doing an OK version of an Idol winner's song. Seriously, he's got a point. What a way to show people every single shortcoming you have as a singer! I get the feeling she chose this song to appeal to Idol fans. Paula attempts to stroke Lisa's ego but doesn't do a very good job, and she ends up dealing the first real criticism from her this season. Simon calls the performance occasionally painful, and he's right. She has an "oh crap" look on her face, and I'm betting on her bags being packed by the end of the night. Seacrest gets into some inane banter with the judges, and I swear he's gotten a thousand percent more irritating this year. This could be Lisa's swan song. No votes from me. 1-866-IDOLS-01

After the break, we'll try to reboot the show...

---

Kellie Pickler looks a lot different tonight for some reason. Somebody must've gotten a hold of her stylist, got her high, and then gave her a curling iron. I know you'll be surprised by this, but Kellie's singing country tonight. I'll give you a moment to recover from that shock. And she's singing it all straight through her nasal cavity. It's screechy, like nails on a chalkboard. Kellie tries this weird kick, as though she started to line dance but then just said the heck with it. She's not breathing well tonight, apparently, and she is keeping it staccato. That little thing at the end was just highly unnecessary, and it hurt my ears. Randy says he can already tell this is going to be an interesting night, which means everybody has really bitten it tonight. Randy and Paula think "Suds in the Bucket" isn't a good song choice, though it did work for Sara Evans. In case you didn't know, the main difference between Sara Evans and Kellie Pickler is...well...everything, but talent in particular. Simon thinks it was a horrific song choice. All they could say is song choice?? No sharp, no flat, no dear goodness Pickler sing from your diaphragm for the love of all that is good???? No votes! 1 866 IDOLS 02

Is that Deborah Gibson in the audience? I told you she'd be a great replacement for Paula.

Ace Young flats out a Train song straight out of the gate. Good grief, Top 10!! Get on pitch!! I'm so bored by this performance that I might just fall asleep. I am so not feeling it. Maybe it's just this category and the fact that I hear these songs beaten purely to death on the radio everyday, but the contestants are just falling flat all over the place tonight! Randy says it's the wrong song and that Ace didn't sing it well. Paula is not going to be as harsh as someone, which is the understatement of the year as well as the winner of the Miss Obvious 2006 medal. Ace is showing his autopsy scar from when he died and became a vampire, and Paula says "one day you'll have to explain that to me," and that's quite enough said for this year's Corey Clark from Paula. Simon thinks it wasn't a great vocal. I'm bored with Ace. Next! 1 866 IDOLS 03

Bring back Dunkleman. Please. And we get the reason for Ace's scar which is that (a.)he was playing basketball and (b.)I don't care.

After the break, Taylor and the most ridiculous nickname I've heard this year. Mandiva indeed...

---

Taylor Hicks is back from his romping at the Playboy mansion. He has picked up a fan, apparently, in the form of a corpse-looking 10 year old. Taylor explains the whole "Soul Patrol" thing, because Ryan Seacrest is perhaps the most inadequate interviewer in all of history. Taylor isn't busting out of his comfort zone by singing Ray Montagne's "Trouble." Vocally, I've heard worse, and I'm thankful that Taylor's standing still for a moment, even if he does look like he's holding back on an urgent Number 2. The only thing I can really complain about is that this, like every other song Taylor has sung, doesn't require a lot of range to sing. Otherwise, I agree with George Huff and Amanda Avila who are both enjoying the song in the audience. I wonder if they're dating? Mmmm, Amanda.... Okay, back on track... Randy thinks it wasn't the best. Paula likes it though, calls Taylor an old soul, and Randy has a look on his face as though Paula had just wet the floor and it was getting on his shoes. Simon likes the song, but he doesn't like Taylor's style. He compares Taylor's wardrobe to Clay Aiken. Ryan says that Simon's wardrobe looks like Kelly Clarkson's, which makes absolutely zero sense, such that it almost dips into the negative IQ numbers. 1 866 IDOLS 04

Mandisa gets all religious on us and breaks the Gospel soul groove out by singing "Shackles" by Mary Mary. The first part is kind of weak, but she works into the groove, and it's just very obvious to me that this is the arena that Mandisa needs to be in. Again, nothing against fat people, but for the love of all that is right in the world, somebody stop this girl from wearing blue jeans. Randy again doesn't like the song choice. He is almost impossible to please tonight, which is wonderful! Paula makes a comment about Mandisa being a new religion. Mandisa looks with near-contempt at the concept of "Church of Mandisa," which makes me like her. Simon doesn't enjoy her performance and calls it self-indulgent. Ryan continues the blasphemy, wanting us to not only attend but also worship at the Church of Mandisa, and she's got this look on her face that says she wishes Seacrest would shut up or at least move away before the lightning bolt hits him. Ryan reaches in for a smooch on the cheek, and Mandisa clearly rebuffs him. 1 866 IDOLS 05

After the break, Katharine McPhee...

---

Chris Daughtry attempts to save face by debunking the whole "made it my own" thing from last show by giving credit to the band Live. Nice save there, Chris. I wonder who has been reading the Idol messageboards? Ryan is obsessed with worship, and Chris looks at him as though he wants to punch him square in the groin. I know this will come as a surprise to any of you out there without a pulse, but Chris is going to do a Creed song. I so saw this coming. He is doing the least vocally challenging song they do, which is "What If." So basically he gets to scream the words. I've done this song with a cover band once, and all that's really necessary is lung capacity, not vocal control, not pitch range, and really not even remembering the lyrics. This wasn't good. Randy thinks he was sharp, though I'm not sure how he can tell. Paula further disgraces her joke writers and calls herself Chris's biggest fan. Simon thinks he went too far with this song and that Chris needs to show another side. I'm glad somebody on this show finally gets that. Seriously, Chris wants to pop Seacrest one right in the kisser. 1 866 IDOLS 06

Katharine McPhee is going to sing a Christina Aguilera song, and she goes on and on with some catty comment about the back-biting that goes on behind the scenes of Idol. I don't really like this song from the outset, and I think she's not really on top of it either. She needs to stop rooming with Pickler, because she's picking up the same "sing-through-your-nose" habit. I'm gonna pick on song choice this time, because I didn't like that one on her. Randy does, though, and thinks that she didn't bring anything new to the song. Paula gushes all over Katharine, and I really don't care what she thinks anymore. Seriously, someone go snatch Debbie Gibson out of the audience and plop her down in between Randy and Simon. Simon says it's the best performance of the night so far, which isn't saying much, and he further says that it's almost (but not quite) as good as Christina. 1 866 IDOLS 07

After the break, Bucky and Paris...

---

Bucky Covington is gonna sing a song by Tim McGraw because he flat-out likes it. He definitely looks the part tonight. I am going to stand by my previous opinion, which is that Bucky has one whale of a country music voice, and he would be unbelievably singing cowboy songs and honky-tonk beer-swilling anthems. You don't have to be perfect vocally to sing what he's singing, and I honestly think he did a really nice job of it tonight. Bucky might be this year's Josh Gracin. Randy thinks the song was perfect for him. Paula says to be careful of his diction. Oh come on, Paula!! This is country music!! Sheesh. Simon thinks he would've left if he'd paid a ticket to be there, but I suppose since he's there for free, he'll stick around. 1 866 IDOLS 08

Paris Bennett, who I will still never vote for, is up now with yet another weave in her hair. She's going to sing a Beyonce song, and it's quite obvious she tried to look like her and failed miserably. Again her performance is all style-over-substance, and she tries to work her booty, which on Beyonce is intoxicating, but on Paris, it's just creepy. I don't care what the judges say, I hated it. Randy says words like "fearless," "da bomb," "hot one right here," and blah blah blah. Pimp pimp pimp. Paula thinks Paris should be a Pussycat Doll, which is YUCK! Paula thinks it was precocious and that it was like a little girl pretending to be Beyonce (which it was.) Paris further endears herself to nobody by telling Simon "oh please!" Little Miss Smarty Pants gets no votes from me. 1 866 IDOLS 09

What's with all the contestants getting all egotistical and back-talking Simon? I thought that was Ryan's job.

After the break, some real talent, in the form of Elliott Yamin

---

Elliott Yamin is pulling a Bo Bice and singing "I Don't Wanna Be" as done by Gavin DeGraw. Elliott claims he is going to bring a soul and funk vibe to it. Well he doesn't do it so much as the band does, but I'll take it. I don't know how I feel about this as a whole, but I do know it's pretty good compared to everyone else tonight. I like Elliott. Randy says it's a hot one, and I suppose it is. I'm just ready for a different theme. Paula calls Elliott "one funky white boy." Simon hates the arrangement and the dancing but says the song was great.

MY PREDICTIONS:
Bottom three: Lisa Tucker, Kellie Pickler, and Ace Young. Bucky is my alternate.

Who will go: Kellie will have a bottom three scare, but she won't go, which will leave Ace and Lisa as the bottom two. Lisa will go home.

See you tomorrow night. For some reason, Shakira will be performing live on the show tomorrow night. Tomorrow night will NOT be live blogged, but look for my recap of the events to be posted later in the evening.

7 Comments:

At 7:44 PM, Blogger Georgia Writer said...

Well so far I totally agree with everything you've said J.D. The first three or four completely sucked and Mandisa does in fact need to stand in front of a three-way mirror to examine how HUGE her behind is in those jeans...what will the last 18 minutes hold?

 
At 1:13 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

I don't like the stabby behavior towards Simon... none of those children will be able to banter successfully with him and they all looked a little fugly tonight...

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger Hannah said...

it was pretty horrible last night.
the best were Mandisa,Chris,and Paris.
And they weren't that great.
I personally think that Mandisa did good, but...
Chris' songs are starting to all sound the same.

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger Tori said...

I agree it was horrible....
NO way that Lisa should have gone with a Clarkson number.... bad idea and sooooooooooo agree about flatty pants, white teeth. I too think that he's gotta go...
Does noone else feel pain in the ear when he starts up...
tori

 
At 12:58 PM, Blogger J.D. said...

I don't know about pain in the ear with any specific one. My ears were bleeding from pretty much all of them.

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger Hannah said...

true...
thank God for fast forward buttons. where would we be without them! listening to Bucky...

 
At 1:35 AM, Blogger Kat said...

"Randy thinks he was sharp, though I'm not sure how he can tell."

Bwah!!

Bucky & Ace were my favorites of the night, but I agree that everyone was disappointing.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home